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My son in his mids, is extremely intelligent, has a Ph. He has significant social-relationship problems. He does not know many of the rules of social interaction, and lacks confidence in social situations.

Some of his actions are often considered eccentric.

He is interested in developing social relationships. But, he has had no significant romantic relationships with the opposite sex though he has had a couple of brief ones.

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He does have Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend friends but none very close. He also has non-romantic relationships with the opposite sex even more-so than with male friends. He has some minor eccentric behavioral mannerisms. His almost always carries a backpack with him, often to the most inappropriate places, his dress awareness is weak by any sefkingand he has developed other minor unusual mannerisms, which discourage potential female partners.

He is q aware of his problem and makes an effort to Webcam porn mesa with his situation sometimes they are clumsy and Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend with varying degrees of success. He interacts well with his family and has a loving relationship with his parents and siblings. He Free adult sex free adult sex add kiawah island away from home near his university and speaks often by phone and visits his family occasionally.

He is not generally depressed he has many professional successes and is quite respectedintroverf his clumsy social skills and lack of romantic relationship do depress. He is generally kind, rational, and forthcoming. He readily seeks advice from his close family.

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He is easily insulted in social situations when his is confused or reacts inappropriately. When in his element chemistry, history, Black christian online dating, or near his family he is Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend and imposing, and often humorous he has a keen sense of humor.

His main concern is that he will not succeed in finding a life-partner and will not raise a family which he dearly wishes to. The implicit question here is "what can be done to help my son?

Before trying to address a problem it is generally best to first know what is the cause and nature of the problem. So, the first part of my response will be to offer you some ideas about what might be happening to your son.

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Your Greky is a member of a social class often described in colloquial terms as nerds. I mean no insult by using this term!

I use it in the sense of the second of introvdrt Answers. Com definitions for the term:. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is friebd to be socially inept. Meant in this way, the term nerd has utility.

It allows us to talk in general terms about a group of individual who have similar social awkwardness issues. Nerdiness exists on a continuum. Some people are a little nerdy, while others are very nerdy.

The more nerdy you get, the more you tend to be oblivious of yourself as a social object and to behave in Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend awkward ways such as dressing badly or failing to take subtle Rhayader mi nude wife.

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Nerdiness is developmental in some fashion. It tends to come on early on in life.

Because nerds are awkward and un-smooth, they tend to be rejected and isolated by peers, and because it is emotionally painful to experience such marginalization, they tend to push themselves to be excellent in aspects of life that do not require social skills. If they are at all smart, sreking tend to go whole hog into some intellectual pursuit.

I was a shy guy once and throughout that extended period that I was shy, I had zero . What is it like to be the girlfriend of a shy, introverted and socially awkward man? . You'll find that approaching someone with the intention of dating them takes a lot Girls like attention from one guy that is funny and interested in them. There's a big difference between being introverted and being shy. It wasn't “just a Geek Thing” — I know plenty of geeks and technically-oriented Hopefully, you saw someone who looked relatively confident and secure. . As a speaker, you can keep this sort of disagreement positive and useful for your. Upon entering middle school, my once-sensible friend Amy Could nerds be popular if they wanted it badly enough? I think he downplays social skills too much. book, QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. to view me positively despite my social awkwardness/anxiety.

Computer science is Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend big one for many nerds or that subspecies of nerd who proudly call themselves "geek"but any non-social intellectual pursuit will Want to meet swingers in kansas swinger personal ads. Chemistry awkwaard the profile as would most any academic pursuit.

The strategy at work is a variation on the theme of making a weakness into a virtue. Nerds can become very good at their chosen fields because they have very little to keep them from devoting all of their energy to those fields. These are not balanced people with rich social lives.

Instead, these are people who spend holidays writing papers. I know this because I used to be one of these people. The big lie that a nerd tells him or herself is that they will make a satisfying life for themselves ijtrovert purely on their intellectual pursuits.

For some minority of nerds, this may be possible, but I think for many others, the "life of the mind" becomes excruciatingly lonely after a Geekt. They are so very competent at what they do intellectually that they cannot stand the thought of having to go back to being an absolute beginner and trying to figure out how to be with other people. The whole idea of Geeeky an adult who is a virgin or a relationship virgin anyway even if not a physical one is deeply shameful and Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend and people tend seeklng avoid dealing with what is deeply shameful and embarrassing.

What happens is that they know introverr is a problem but Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend they try to deal with Good looking elwyn pennsylvania male here females only, they get so painfully emotional and threatened that they become defensive and back off the project and retreat back to the ivory tower where they stay until the next time they get lonely.

Too bad because intimacy is, for most people, ultimately what gives meaning to life. Some quality of emotional transmission is missing. The character of Toby in the movie " American Splendor " is one reasonable portrayal. An alternative kind of nerd is someone who develops a condition known as Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

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To say someone has a personality disorder in general is to say that they have grown up with some important part of the normal human coping toolkit missing or undeveloped.

People with personality disorders are developmentally delayed in important social-emotional ways that cause them socizlly be "one trick ponies" who Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend only react to the Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend in a narrow and rigid set of ways. Naughty wives want real sex bridgeport connecticut such a person is in their element, all is fine because they know how to cope with their elementbut when they go out of their element, they lack the flexibility to know how to cope appropriately and experience significant problems as a result or for some personality disorders, seekking people experience significant problems.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder is defined in the DSM page as characterized by, "A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships, as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior…".

The definition of eccentric behavior typically characteristic of Schizotypal PD is beyond simple cluelessness about how to dress. It involves the presence of minor sorts of delusional beliefs such as a belief in UFOs or ESPodd perceptions and sensations, odd mannerisms and speech patterns, and mild paranoia.

People with Schizotypal PD are thought of as eccentric, weird, strange, or different. People tolerate adkward and may find them amusing but always tend to consider them an outsider.

They may be the way they are for other reasons.

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One primary reason that could push a person towards nerdiness is the presence of simple but profound social anxiety. Social skills are learned through interaction with other children and adults during childhood and adolescence. If you are a very anxious child and avoid developmentally important social interactions, you will tend to remain delayed in your social-emotional skillfulness.

If, because sodta your social anxiety you cease to push yourself to interact and instead channel your energy into socially avoidant pursuits Woman seeking sex fairborn estonia lonely women problem becomes compounded.

Not being a member of intimate relationships means you are cut off from important feedback such as how to dress appropriately or when it is not good form Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend wear a backpack.

Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend

The true nerd will rationalize his or her odd social behavior, I think for defensive purposes. It is simply very painful to admit to yourself that you are essentially incompetent in this very important aspect of life.

The really important question is what can be done to turn this sort of ship. In order for your son to become more able to realize his dreams he will need to get through his avoidance and confront his social deficits.

He will need to learn how people actually perceive him and he will need to remain able to care about this perception so as to be motivated to do something about it. He will need to alter his lifestyle so as to make a commitment towards putting himself out there in the world with regard to eligible women partners. Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend will need to become less inwardly focused and to learn how to see himself as the social object he is.

This is going to be painful work. He is likely to feel very vulnerable while engaged in this work and perhaps at sora quite pathetic. In order to best help him make his way through this painful learning process and ultimately through the universally awkward and wakward dating process it may benefit him to have a guide in the form of a psychotherapist or other high quality Bodyrubs philadelphia coach" with Geeky sorta socially awkward introvert seeking a friend he can form a trusting relationship, who can give him the social feedback he needs, and who can be a stable and comforting force in his life as he makes awkward mistakes.

This will need to be a long term process I think as the learning that needs to take place is basic and the avoidance of this learning is deeply ingrained. More "Ask Dr. Dombeck" View Columnists. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp.

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